Guys only thread....

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Halgar
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Re: Guys only thread....

Post by Halgar » Fri Mar 28, 2014 1:58 am

If God had meant man to clean floors, he wouldn't have stolen a rib and made woman! :wink: :wink: :mrgreen:
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

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andymac0035
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Re: Guys only thread....

Post by andymac0035 » Thu Apr 03, 2014 9:10 pm

The Difference Between Men And Women. This Is Genius. :mrgreen:

Let's say a guy named Halgar is attracted to a woman named Traxxey. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.

And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Traxxey, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: "Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?"

And then, there is silence in the car.

To Traxxey, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.

And Halgar is thinking: Gosh. Six months.

And Traxxey is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily towards, I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?

And Halgar is thinking: ...so that means it was...let's see...February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means...lemme check the odometer...Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here.

And Traxxey is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed - even before I sensed it - that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.

And Halgar is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.

And Traxxey is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.

And Halgar is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty...scumballs.

And Traxxey is thinking: Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.

And Halgar is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their...

"Halgar," Traxxey says aloud.

"What?" says Halgar, startled.

"Please don't torture yourself like this," she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. "Maybe I should never have...oh dear, I feel so..."(She breaks down, sobbing.)

"What?" says Halgar.

"I'm such a fool," Traxxey sobs. "I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse."

"There's no horse?" says Halgar.

"You think I'm a fool, don't you?" Traxxey says.

"No!" says Halgar, glad to finally know the correct answer.

"It's just that...it's that I...I need some time," Traxxey says.

(There is a 15-second pause while Halgar, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.)

"Yes," he says. (Traxxey, deeply moved, touches his hand.)

"Oh, Halgar, do you really feel that way?" she says.

"What way?" says Halgar.

"That way about time," says Traxxey.

"Oh," says Halgar. "Yes." (Traxxey turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.)

"Thank you, Halgar," she says.

"Thank you," says Halgar.

Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Halgar gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a college basketball game between two South Dakota junior colleges that he has never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it.

The next day Traxxey will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification.

They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it either.

Meanwhile, Halgar, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Traxxey's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say: "SFC K, did Traxxey ever own a horse?"

And that's the difference between men and women. :mrgreen:


.....And before you threaten to tell Sammie..... she's already read this and is laughing at you... :nana: :rofl:

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Halgar
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Re: Guys only thread....

Post by Halgar » Thu Apr 03, 2014 11:45 pm

This story is totally bogus, I mean, what self respecting man takes his car to the shop for an oil change? :? :roll:



:rofl:
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

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Halgar
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Re: Guys only thread....

Post by Halgar » Thu Apr 03, 2014 11:50 pm

The difference between men and women.

[youtube]-gOHoGQOqHU[/youtube]
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

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Re: Guys only thread....

Post by SFC K » Fri Apr 04, 2014 11:14 am

That is so true! :lol:
Jeff

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andymac0035
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Re: Guys only thread....

Post by andymac0035 » Fri Apr 04, 2014 8:41 pm

Halgar wrote:This story is totally bogus, I mean, what self respecting man takes his car to the shop for an oil change? :? :roll:



:rofl:
Denial huh?..... well.... I never claimed you were self-respecting.... :mrgreen: ...... :rofl:

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Halgar
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Re: Guys only thread....

Post by Halgar » Fri Apr 04, 2014 10:03 pm

No denial here, I change my own oil, and I'm not afraid to admit it! :mrgreen:
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

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andymac0035
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Re: Guys only thread....

Post by andymac0035 » Sat Apr 05, 2014 12:09 am

Suuuuure............. :rofl:

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KONG
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Re: Guys only thread....

Post by KONG » Tue Apr 15, 2014 1:07 am

Image

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SFC K
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Re: Guys only thread....

Post by SFC K » Tue Apr 15, 2014 1:14 am

:rofl:
Jeff

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andymac0035
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Re: Guys only thread....

Post by andymac0035 » Tue Apr 15, 2014 6:29 am

X2!! :rofl: :rofl:

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Re: Guys only thread....

Post by andymac0035 » Wed Apr 16, 2014 12:53 am

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Re: Guys only thread....

Post by SFC K » Fri Apr 18, 2014 12:18 am

=D> So true Andy! :lol:
Jeff

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Re: Guys only thread....

Post by andymac0035 » Mon May 19, 2014 10:07 pm

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CowboyClod
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Re: Guys only thread....

Post by CowboyClod » Mon May 19, 2014 10:14 pm

Remember!!! if the women don't find you handsome at least they'll find you handy :mrgreen: :mrgreen:
Last edited by CowboyClod on Mon May 19, 2014 10:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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